Postcards from the Vast Wasteland

Lost

2006-05-17T14:10:00.000-04:00

Sabbatical

2005-10-23T11:56:00.000-05:00

Well, loyal readers, er, reader, I am neck deep in work-related doo-doo. I've got so much to do, I'm going to continue this de facto blogging sabbatical I've been on for the past week. I barely have time to watch TV, let alone write about it.

This was fun. But, life is forcing me to take a break.

In the meantime, enjoy all the Lost-Alias-Nip/Tuck-DesperateHousewives-VeronicaMars-24-Threshold-GilmoreGirls-CurbYourEnthusiasm-MyNameIsEarl-ArrestedDevelopment-PrisonBreak-EverybodyHatesChris-AmazingRace-ProjectRunway-America'sNextTopModel-Invasion-Scrubs fun you can!

P.S. While I'm partially dying that Lost is taking a three-week hiatus, I can't help but be grateful for its timing.

TV DVDs

2005-10-14T14:03:00.000-05:00

The previous post about Veronica Mars prompted me to reflect on the TV series that make for the best DVD viewing. There are some shows that just have more "pop" -- are more exciting or engaging -- when viewing them without commercial interruptions and without waiting a week between episodes.

Fullmoon has commented on the pleasure of watching Lost Season 1 on DVD. Highly recommended.

What other shows are better viewed by DVD?

My vote for the most enhanced enjoyment through viewing on DVD is 24. The adrenaline and tension created in the show remains at a constant high. The commercial breaks are gone and so the plot keeps you hurtling forward like an out-of-control train. Cliff hangers are exciting, yet not the least bit frustrating, because you simply start the next episode or stick in the next disc. Last season was the first I watched 24 as it aired on Fox. I still loved it, but I really missed the high-impact experience of a 24 marathon viewing session. If I had even a scintilla of self-control, I think I'd sit out this season of 24 when it starts in January and wait for it to come out on DVD. Sadly, though, self-control and self-discipline are not among my strongest traits. (One drawback of viewing 24 on DVD is that the continuity and improbability issues are intensified. But, if you're willing to suspend disbelief, it's a heck of a ride.)

I imagine that watching Alias on DVD would be an experience similar to watching 24 on DVD. I've simply been too committed to watching Alias as it airs to ever have the DVD-watching experience.

From what I've caught of Prison Break this season on Fox, I'm thinking it could be a winner on DVD.

Anyone have other recommendations for shows that translate well to DVD, perhaps even improved over watching them as they air?

Intelligent Life on Mars

2005-10-14T13:32:00.000-05:00

I caught this week's episode of Veronica Mars. (Actually, I taped it and watched it at midnight in anticipation of my all-nighter on Wednesday night.) It's on against Lost, so it requires intentional and meticulous planning if I want to watch. As Wednesday evening comes nearer my excitement over Lost has a tendency to render me paralyzed and incoherent. So, I haven't caught every episode of Veronica Mars this season.

At any rate, I was reminded of how excellent this show is. If you're not watching it, you should. If you're in the market for a show to watch on DVD, watch Veronica's first season.

Desperate for Developments

2005-10-10T18:41:00.000-05:00

Did anyone else feel like last night's Desperate Housewives episode was nothing more than marking time?

We saw some character development with Gabrielle, but it was pretty clearly going to happen at some point.

We got a little more in the "is-George-a-total-psycho?" department, but really only more questions.

Unfortunately, Susan is becoming a parody of herself. Maybe, if the teasers for next week pan out, she'll get more to do with the reintroduction of Zach into the storyline.

I like the Betty Applewhite character, but I'm not yet hooked into the prisoner-in-the-basement mystery. There has to be more to it than revenge against an abusive spouse. Right?

I don't know what to think of Lynette's (to this piont weak) workplace drama.

Loved to see Harriet Sansom Harris back. Too bad she's going away. Loved Felicia.

It looks like next week's episode may be a return to form, though.

Firefly . . . Better Late than Never

2005-10-09T22:46:00.000-05:00

I loved Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. I never watched the short-lived Firefly, though.

With some favorable buzz for Serenity, the recently released theatrical film which is a continuation of the Firefly story, and with my love for Whedonesque imagination and dialog, I decided to add the Firefly DVDs to my Netflix queue.

I watched the pilot episode last night. Loved it. I'll keep you updated as I watch the rest of the episodes.

I hope I'll be able to find the time to catch Serenity in the theater as well.

Karmic Hilarity

2005-10-09T22:33:00.000-05:00

Wasteland Spouse and I caught two replayed episodes of My Name is Earl last night on NBC. Four words: Hill. Air. Ye. Us.

You know a show is a potential classic if it can pull of a stupid carrot-smoking gag with a straight face . . . and make it funny!

Earl Hickey is a treasure chest of a character. The karma cleansing hook is great and can be sustained for quite some time (especially if Earl has to keep adding more wrongs to his list with each one he rights).

The revelation in this show, though, is Jaime Pressly as Joy, Earl's bottle-blonde, redneck, former beauty queen ex-wife who lives with her collection of children and the dim witted -- but lovable -- Darnell in a rented 1972 trailer with a documented carbon monoxide leak. Joy is a great character and Pressly fits her like a glove. My favorite line came after Joy informed Earl that she'd pawned his heirloom cuckoo clock and, in response to Earl's shocked reaction, said, "What, you don't think cigarettes grow on trees?"

(P.S. Thanks, Fullmoon, for the nudge to watch the show!)

Fullmoon: Let's Talk Lost! (UPDATED)

2005-10-07T13:54:00.000-05:00

So, two stellar episodes of Lost have come and gone during my self-imposed blogging hiatus.

Loved 'em! Let's see . . . Can I summarize how much I love Lost this season? It's "honey-will-you-sleep-in-the-wet-spot" good, that's how good this show is.

A few random observations/questions:

If you haven't visited Dharma Industries yet, you should. Not much there, but still.
Same goes for the Hanso Foundation webpage.
Sayid is the MacGuyver of the island, no? Soon he'll be building a nuclear warhead from coconuts and polar bear feces.
Lots of faith/science stuff still floating around
Jack: hero, anti-hero, or villain?
Ana Lucia . . . good, bad, or just plain badass?
How cool was the training video? I love that the really crucial stuff was damaged or spliced out.
Electromagnatic qualities, polar bears, and sentient homocidal black smoke. What doesn't the island have to offer?

What's been your favorite little tidbit of the last couple of episodes?

UPDATE: Via 815 (which is a great, and usually hilarious, source of Lost minutia) I point you to the following:

There's a blind link at the bottom of the Hanso Foundation website's Active Projects list. Click on it to see the training film that Locke and Jack watched.
Britain's Channel 4 has a great flash site filled with little hints and tidbits here.

Free Chris!

2005-09-26T23:49:00.000-05:00

UPN and Google Video are offering a free streaming video of the entire premiere episode of Everybody Hates Chris here.

Very cool.

?sdrawkcaB gniklaT saW tlaW

2005-09-26T12:07:00.000-05:00

So, I didn't catch this at all on my own, but it turns out that, when Shannon saw weird, wet Walt in the jungle on last Wednesday's Lost premiere, the reason that you couldn't figure out what he was saying -- and neither could Shannon -- was becuase he was talking backwards.

Check out this link, courtesy of Lemon-Red at 815 Blog, which reverses the audio in that scene. Walt clearly says, "Press the button. The button is bad."

What button? [The execute button on Desmond's computer in the geodesic hatch?] Why is it bad? [It controls the "monster"/alerts the Others/releases a deadly toxin?]

Aaaaaaaarrrrgh.

Larry David: Clearly Not a Father of a 4 Year Old

2005-09-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

Last night's season premiere of Curb Your Enthusiasm included a running gag about whether one should pick up the phone when engaged in conjugal activities.

Clearly Larry David doesn't live with a 4 year old. Setting aside the notion of when parents of preschoolers find time for intimacy (Hint: usually not at times when the phone is likely to ring), answering the phone quickly falls outside the job description of such parents. Having a 4 year old is like having your own little (completely unreliable) answering service.

I'm certain Wasteland Kid would have picked up the phone and would be asking -- in an inappropriately suspicious voice -- "Who are you?" long before one of us could roll over and pick up the phone.

(I know, Amanda Sue. TMI.)

The Part of Lynette Scavo Will Now Be Played By . . .

2005-09-25T23:57:00.000-05:00

Beau Toksin-Hurbrow.

So, did anyone else notice that Felicity Huffman's forehead was freakishly immobile during the first interview scene on tonight's season premiere of Desperate Housewives?

Whassupwithat?

Desperate Housewives Makes You Smarter

2005-09-23T17:51:00.000-05:00

I knew it.

In what appears to be a little fluff piece about the new season of Desperate Housewives, there's a great little bombshell dropped at the end. According to this book, today's serialized shows (like DH, Lost, 24, and Reunion) make us smarter.

Take that, Wasteland Spouse!

"Suvivors Strike Back" or Survivors Can't Blog?

2005-09-23T15:46:00.000-05:00

There's a group blog at the CBS survivor website called "Survivors Strike Back."

It sucks.

Apprenti

2005-09-23T14:47:00.000-05:00

Caught a bit of both Martha's and Donald's apprentice.

*Yawn.*

Regarding Martha's bunch of Apprenti: Proving that, in the right circumstances, "creative" is a synonym for "annoying."

Regarding The Donald's crew: Melissa needs a serious reality check (which ain't gonna happen on a "reality" TV show). Melissa, my dear, it is NEVER the case that a uniformly reviled person is hated for his or her beauty, competence, and brains. Never. Intimidating? No. Psychotic? Perhaps.

Lost Head Scratchers

2005-09-23T14:19:00.000-05:00

The Lost premiere, predictably, rocked my world. I love that show.

Some highlights:

Who'd have ever guessed that MTV's The 70s House would be in the hatch? Not me.
"Make Your Own Kind of Music" -- Mama Cass rocks, plus my 7th grade choir sang that song at my spring concert. You gotta, make your own kind of music. Sing your own special song . . . .
Hurley's tirade: "Life's not so bad, right? Sure the Others are coming to, like, eat us all, and every once in a while someone blows up all over you, but you get to sleep in every morning."
The "numbers" on Desmond's high-pressure drug injection kit.
The sum of the "numbers" (108) appearing on the freaky-deaky mural at the entrance to Desmond's geodesic dome with the giant computer processors in it.
All the other appearances of indivdual "numbers" throughout the episode (e.g., time of death of the car wreck victim was 8:15; Desmond was riding his stationary bike at 16 mph before the explosion rocked his groovy underground pad; the last number in the combo for Desmond's safe looked to be 42).
"QUARANTINE"
Wet Walt: ghostlike, mouting something to Shannon, and spooky!
Locke explicitly acknowledged what we saw in last season's finale: that the "monster" appeared to be just a column of weird, black smoke.
The victim of Jack's future wife's bad driving was likely Shannon's dad. (His last name was Rutherford.)
Charlie is starting to be a bit of a rabble-rouser. Just wait until he does the smack.
We didn't even get to see what was going on with the rafters . . . even MORE to look forward to in next week's episode.
Important lesson: No scene is a throwaway on this show. (Confession: Got a little bored with Jack's stair running flashback scene. Stopped paying close attention. Then (duh!), Desmond the "almost" doctor shows up in the hatch and I find myself wondering what the heck he and Jack talked about in that scene.) Repeat after me: I must pay attention to every detail of every scene of Lost.

Best. Show. Ever.

Can I get a holla back?

Everybody Hates Bedtime

2005-09-23T13:35:00.000-05:00

I'm reading The Secret Garden to Wasteland Kid at bedtime. I'm intrigued by how much WK enjoys the sometimes ponderous story and equally hard to grasp broad Yorkshire dialogue (which I, of course, manage to completely mangle in an attempt to make it sound authentic). WK instists that we read a couple of chapters a night. These are not short chapters, mind you.

In addition, I think we've done a few thinks right as parents. On one count, though, we've utterly failed. WK refuses to fall asleep alone. I have to lay there in bed until WK is in full-on REM. The slightest attempt to sneak out of the room before WK is sawing logs causes freakish and immediate wakefulness and requires the whole routine to start over from scratch.

What does this have to do with TV? It means I often completely miss any show that airs in the 8 o'clock hour (sometimes into the 9 o'clock hour as well).

Case in point: Everybody Hates Chris. Totally missed it last night. After an entire summer looking forward to this show (see here, here, here, and here), I'm on bedtime duty.

Have I mentioned how much I want TiVo?

Emmy Thoughts

2005-09-23T13:13:00.000-05:00

Nearly a week later, I've almost recovered from the horror of the Emmys. What a shitty show that was . . . all around.

I was bored to tears. I was annoyed by the Emmy Idol competition. And I was in shock at many of the winners.

I've already mentioned my disdain for the Emmy voters' choice of winner for dramatic actress. Boston Legal produced the dramatic actor and supporting actor statues for James Spader and William Shatner. Not that either of these two guys is an embarrassment, but there were certainly more deserving performances last year. It was almost as if the Emmy voters forgot to watch TV last year. Sure, Spader's Alan Shore breathed life into the floundering Practice a year ago, but the new show floundered itself some and Spader's performance began to wear thin. Did the voters just forget about all the other great performances and shows? How about Kiefer Sutherland, Ian McShane, and Hugh Laurie, for instance. Sutherland, in contrast to Spader's sometimes shallow approach, continues to imbue CTU agent Jack Bauer with depth and charisma that lifts 24 beyond the thrill-a-minute freakshow it might otherwise be. (It would still be a freaking entertaining thrill-a-minute freakshow, but I'm glad Sutherland helps the show transcend that level of entertainment.) He deserves to be awarded for that.

Don't even get me started about the snub of Terry O'Quinn's fascinating portrayal of parapalegic-cum-suvivalist/sherpa/priest John Locke on Lost. Shatner's scenery-chewing, self-mocking, yet one-note, portrayal of Denny Crane just doesn't hold a candle to the depth and mystery O'Quinn brings to the Lost island.

The Everybody Loves Raymond lovefest was a bit misplaced as well. I've never been a fan, but even many hardcore fans of the show whom I know couldn't justify the wins of Raymond and its cast members over Desperate Housewives and Arrested Development.

Tony Shalhoub might be great in Monk. I wouldn't know. That vote, though, strikes me as a tragically unhip choice in the guise of hipness.

Thank goodness Lost took home the big prize. It almost made up for the flood of lameness that preceded it (and the aftershock of lameness that followed it . . . the Raymond win).

Finally, I Can Sleep Soundly Now . . .

2005-09-23T13:10:00.000-05:00

that John O'Hurley has been crowned the real winner of Dancing With the Stars.

Whatever.

Little Chance of Curbing My Enthusiasm

2005-09-23T13:07:00.000-05:00

With overwhelming and enthusiastic anticipation for the new season of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO, I provide you with the link to a great little NYT story about Jeff Garlin and his Curb alter ego, Jeff Greene.

Here's a marginally interesting piece from CNN.com.

"Note to self: I don't need to see that!"

2005-09-20T18:30:00.000-05:00

Sadly, it appears too many people followed Aunt Sassy's mantra by not watching The Comeback.

HBO cancelled my favorite celebreality spoof.

I'll miss Valerie Cherish, whose reality show "The Comeback" was ironically renewed for a second season after just one episode.

"Of Our Days, And Our Nights"

2005-09-20T11:02:00.000-05:00

Were you watching the Emmy telecast when Conan O'Brien spoofed the "Emmy Idol" competition by pretending to sing the theme to Charles in Charge?

Damn him.

I haven't been able to get that song out of my head for 2 days now.

Charles in charge of our days and our nights . . . .

Lost Spoilage Alert

2005-09-19T10:04:00.000-05:00

According to MSN (via Newsweek online), there's some serious Lost spoilers somewhere on the message boards on abc.com. I'm not looking though. As much as I want to know, I'd like the experience to be genuine -- to the extent that's possible on a show about an island inhabited by mysterious plane crash survivors, "Others," polar bears, crazy French ladies, and some sort of gaseous quasi-mechanical carnivorous dinosaur-like monster.

So, why am I posting the link? It's like scratching around a mosquito bite or nibbling on the crust of a pie. Not particularly satisfying, but enough to almost fool yourself into thinking you're giving in to the temptation.

Don't go read the spoiler. I don't want you to. It's probably a hoax anyways. And, if not, then don't ruin the fun of Wednesday night by reading what you're going to be seeing Wednesday night.

Patricia Arquette? Patricia Arquette. Really? Really. Un-uh! No, really.**

2005-09-19T08:44:00.000-05:00

I think there'll be more Emmy blogging later, but this just couldn't wait:

Patricia. Arquette. Lead. Actress. In. A. Drama. Series.

For Medium. I know, Medium!!

I always thought that was more descriptive of the quality of the show than of the paranormal abilities of the lead character.

Clearly, some Raymond fans got frustrated realizing that Patricia Heaton would likely lose to one of the Housewives in the Lead Actress in a Comedy Series category (props to Felicity!), so they decided to vote for a Patricia in the weaker drama category. Ingenious!

**Transcription of an internal conversation I had with myself around 10:30 pm yesterday.

"The Season of Die, Woman, Die"

2005-09-17T17:36:00.000-05:00

In today's Washington Post, Lisa de Moraes offers a disturbing critique of this season's crop of new shows in her article "Female Characters, Made to Suffer for Our 'Art.'" The article highlights six storylines from the new shows that particularly illustrate a pattern of extreme violence and violent crime against women. (The shows are Killer Instinct on Fox, Close to Home on CBS, Supernatural on the WB, Invasion on ABC, and Criminal Minds on CBS. I can't figure out what the sixth show is, the one in which "pregnant [women] get pulled out of the shower at night by huge, hideous, wolflike creatures who rip the fetuses out of their wombs.") De Moraes argues that the writers/creators of the shows and the network executives act both blind and deaf to this phenomenon, probably purposely.

Why? Because, she suggests, these shows are chasing the ever elusive 18-34 year-old male demographic. Apparently, young men like to see young women tortured, killed, probed by aliens (more likely, left naked after being probed by aliens), and brutally raped. Or at least that's de Moraes's hypothesis. Moreover, she suggests that there is likely oneupmanship at work here as well.

To be sure, de Moraes has engaged in a bit of cherry-picking here. She's selectively highlighted a fairly small sample of the larger number of new shows to illustrate her point. Nevertheless, I think she's done a fair job of pointing out the staggering level of violence on TV shows. And the victims appear to be disproportionately female.

This is interesting, coming after the "chicks who kick ass" genre that blossomed only a few years ago. These shows, like Buffy, Alias, Xena, Snoops, and many others were/are violent, but the women were/are seldom the victim of the horrific violence that de Moraes describes.

Let's also be clear that men don't come out smelling like roses in these shows. Aside from Supernatural where the baddies are, well, supernatural, it's men who are perpetrating these disturbing deeds. Still, there's a definite difference between reflecting the reality that men are most often the perpetrators of violent crime and reflecting the"reality" of these heinous crimes by re-creating them for our viewing "pleasure." I don't think that de Moraes is wrong when she suggests that it reveals more than just our desensitization to, or even obsession with, violence.

The parade of horribles from the Season of Die, Woman, Die might not be so, um, horrible, if the creators, writers, and network executives had some higher purpose in reflecting the so-called reality of these crimes. But, reading de Moraes' account of their answers at press tours makes one wonder if they think at all about these kinds of issues. One executive, whose shows include all of the CSIs, Close to Home, and Criminal Minds, explains that they should probably study the issue to see if it's a problem. Probably. Study.

Does this mean I won't watch the shows or that I think that violence on TV has grown to epidemic levels? No and maybe. I'll watch some of these shows. I won't let Wasteland Kid watch them, but I wouldn't have anyways. I fall within that target demographic, so I'm part of the problem. My tastes trend, as you may have noticed, toward the more fantastic when it comes to violence. Ripped from the headlines doesn't really appeal to me at all. Is that a distinction with a difference when it comes to de Moraes' point? Probably not. I don't think it's appreciably (or morally) "better" to be entertained by fantastical violence rather than realistic violence. And we seem to be entertained by violence quite a bit. That's why I think it's important to maintain a healthy sitcom and relationship drama contingent, so at least if violence is rampant it doesn't have to be overwhelming.

But, in the meantime, you guys -- and it does seem like the writers, creators, and network execs are mostly men -- in TV creation and development should lay off the kinky/sadistic/fetishistic killing of women. It's not a pretty reflection on you or us. It shouldn't be entertaining.

Record Breaker

2005-09-17T14:16:00.000-05:00

Suresh Joachim broke the Guiness world record for longest time spent watching TV this week. 69 hours, 48 minutes.

The rules stipulated that Suresh's eyes had to be glued to the screen except for a 5-minute break every hour and a 15-minute break every 8 hours. He watched only ABC shows for the entire 2 9/10 days. His viewing marathon was conducted in the lobby of WABC-TV in Manhattan. "Highlights" included: a couple of episodes of Tony Danza's talk show (yeah, I know, I figured it would have been canceled already too), Star Jones reminiscing about her wedding and reminding everyone she's a lawyer on The View, and hour upon hour of pre-dawn World News Now. Luckily for Suresh, WABC doesn't carry The Maury Show.

Just to clear up any potential confusion: I am not Suresh. Even Wasteland Fan has limits.

Threshold Thoughts

2005-09-17T11:12:00.000-05:00

I caught the two-hour series premiere of Threshold last night on CBS. I liked it and will likely stick with it for a while to see how it develops.

My biggest concern is that, unlike Lost, the show will be almost entirely plot-driven. There were some hints that character history will play into the show a bit. Molly's (Carla Gugino) character, a contingency expert, suggested she'd lived through a catastrophe and that her father had walked out on her and her mother when she was young. So, that's something. I'm not so sure the tough-woman-with-daddy-issues angle will be all that interesting, but we'll see. The other characters were pretty thinly sketched so far. Cavennaugh (Brian Van Holt), the ghost-agent-with-the-hots-for-Molly, appeared to be mostly muscle and little else. Data, er, I mean, Dr. Nigel Fenway (Brent Spiner) is a serial divorcee and a crusty genius. Ho, hum. Lucas Pegg (Rob Benedict) is a paranoid, geek-boy engineer, who's engaged to be married in just over a month. Despite the character's lack of definition, I was most intrigued by him and Benedict's portrayal. Arthur Ramsey (Peter Dinklage), the linguist and mathematician, is a debauched, gambling womanizer. Not sure there's anywhere to go with that. Finally, sorry, but Charles S. Dutton just looked uncomfortable, out-of-place, and ill-used as JT Baylock, the Deputy National Security Advisor.

Still, the plot is interesting enough to keep me interested for a while with the hopes that the characters catch up.

On another note, William Mapother is fast becoming the Christopher Walken of prime time TV. When a show needs a creepy and convincing, yet oddly engaging, villain-ish character, he's the go-to guy of the moment. And he fills the role well.

"It's All About Character, Character, Character"

2005-09-17T10:42:00.000-05:00

So sayeth Damon Lindelof showrunner and executive producer of Lost in an interesting article about the show in today's online version of the NY Times (registration may be required to access the story, I'm not sure).

A few things struck me about the story. First, it's always good to be reminded of the plasticity of the plotting of weekly dramas. Even though the writers/creators often have a pretty clear idea of where the story is headed, the details are often up for grabs. The article notes the evolution of the relationships among Michael, Jin, and Sun as an example. The hostility between Michael and Jin and the hinted relationship between Michael and Sun were dropped as the writers became invested in Jin and Sun's complex relationship, as developed in their flashbacks. Even more revealing, the writers noticed that Harold Perrineau and Daniel Dae Kim had become good friends on set and leveraged that connection in the reconciliation of and growing respect between Michael and Jin. Fascinating. And evidence of the appropriate use of story in service of character rather than the other way around. Lost is really a great example of how keeping character first is vitally important, even in the midst of one of the best and most complex plots on TV.

Second, Damon Lindelof is only 32. Perhaps this little factoid jumps out at me a bit more as I approach another birthday, but that's darn impressive.

Third, Carlton Cuse and Lindelof intimate that they'd prefer to take up Stephen King's challenge in a recent ew.com column (upon which I commented here) and end the show according to the story, not the ratings. However, they admit that ABC is in the driver's seat on that decision.

Fourth, the uproar (aka, tempest in a teapot) over last season's hatch cliff-hanger is mentioned. It's odd, but I never once felt cheated by that. I thought the revelation of the "Others'" interest in Walt was a more interesting development and probably never expected to see down the hatch. As has been widely reported elsewhere, the NYT article also assures readers that the hatch plays a central part early in the second season and we'll get to know what's there. That's good enough for me.

Finally, I'm fascinated at how harshly Lindelof dissed the storytelling in the Matrix trilogy. It's accurate criticism. I'm just surprised.

The Early Demise of Survivor

2005-09-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

If you're anything like me, the first couple of episodes of a season of Survivor make or break it for you. That's when you get to know the castaways and speculate how the personal dynamics will play out for the rest of the season/game. I just can't join in the middle of a season and make enough sense of the interactions and personalities to care.

So, the sad/good (it depends on your perspective, I suppose, and I haven't quite yet figured it out for myself) news is that I had a meeting with my (couple hundred) students last night during the premiere of Survivor Guatemala. I won't be able to watch it next week either. Then it conflicts with Alias beginning on the 29th. Clearly, this season is not in the cards for me.

I wonder if I've watched my last episode of Survivor.

WILY TV 9/14/05: That MoFo Mo Po

2005-09-16T14:59:00.000-05:00

I've tried to come up with an appropriate post to convey the shock and disbelief that accompanied my recent realization that Maury Povich still has a syndicated "talk show" on TV.

But, I just can't.

That car wreck should have lost its voyeuristic draw years -- years!! -- ago. It's approaching its 15-year anniversary, people. Fifteen. Years.

How is it that Sally, Ricky, and Jenny can't make it, but Maury (who lagged behind in terms of "substance" and "entertainment" even among this slow crowd) is still alive and kicking? Sure, Jerry Springer's show is still around, but it raised the genre to a freakish sort of macabre artform and a was cultural phenomenon. So, it makes sense that Jerry would outlive the others. (Heck, that show's even been adapted into a hit opera.) But, Maury? Oh, the humanity.

What I Learned Yesterday on TV: There are some depths of TV fandom even I cannot endorse. That mofo Mo Po has got to go.

Knock 'Em Dead Amanda Sue!

2005-09-14T12:10:00.000-05:00

They'd be insane not to jump at the chance to have you!!

Sorry for the break from the theme, but Friend of Wasteland Fan Amanda Sue Pickering has a big day on Friday and we wish her well.

(Posting this a bit early in the hopes ASP sees it before she leaves.)

A Note About the Gilmores

2005-09-14T10:13:00.000-05:00

Despite my abundance of love for all things Lorelei and Lorelei, I won't be blogging about the new season of the Gilmore Girls. Why, you ask? Well, Wasteland Spouse and I (and Wasteland Kid) only caught on to the Gilmores about 18 months or so ago. So, we watched the first few seasons on DVD and, as any sane and reasonable humans beings would, we loved it.

I have surreptitiously kept up on the current happenings in Stars Hollow, but Wasteland Spouse has not, preferring to let the story unfold for her as if she'd been watching the episodes in first run. Thus, WS is content to wait for the DVD releases of seasons 4 and 5, before watching season 6. I respect that choice. So, I won't be spoiling WS's experience by blogging about the current episodes here.

Except that I will say . . . (Hey, WS, stop reading here!!!) . . . what an odd twist of fate it's been watching how Rory's life is almost the mirror image of Lorelei's in some ways, especially when it comes to their relationships with Richard and Emily. Lorelei becomes estranged from R&E when she stumbles off the blue-blood path; Rory detour causes her to grow closer to them and away from Lorelei. Or, perhaps the issue is that Lorelei is more like Emily than she cares to believe . . . .

A Kingly Challenge

2005-09-13T13:32:00.000-05:00

On ew.com, Stephen King challenges the Lost executives/creators/writers to tell the story and let it end. He urges them to violate the "Prime Network Directive" (i.e., "Thou Shalt Not Kill the Cash Cow"), if the story calls for an ending before the ratings do.

I agree with King. (He's surely breathing a sigh of relief at that news!) While I hate to see a good show end, I hate it more when a good show deteriorates into a not-so-good show before it ends. King points to The X-Files as the prototypical example of the latter. I point to The West Wing as a current example.

Thanks to Trailhead for the tip.

P.S. I tend not to agree with King that the secrets of the Lost island lie in it being Purgatory. I don't think the islanders are dead. I'm not sure what I think, but I have faith in JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof to tell a more original story than that. (On the other hand, if the island is Purgatory and the islanders are dead, it won't ruin the journey for me, which in the first season was among the best ever.)

Premieres and Piddle Stains

2005-09-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

Here's a handy dandy schedule of this season's premiere dates.

The following dates each will make me piddle myself in varying degrees:

Tomorrow: My beloved Gilmore Girls come a callin' (also House and Supernatural premiere).

Friday, September 16: Threshold (giving it a shot)

Monday, September 19: The Bluths! The Bluths! The Bluths! Arrested Development begins another season of dysfunction.

Tuesday, September 20: My Name is Earl, followed by perhaps the most piddle-worthy premiere of the season (though Alias and Lost certainly give it a run for the money) in Nip/Tuck

Wednesday, September 21: Guilty pleasure alert . . . America's Next Top Model dukes it out with Martha's version of The Apprentice, followed by those airline disaster survivors on Lost.

Thursday, September 22: Everybody Hates Chris (which will, after next week, be taped to make room for Alias). P.S., I'm so over The Donald. Sorry, won't be watching him this season.

Sunday, September 25: This night will take an extra big dose of Shout to clean my piddle-soaked tighty-whiteys, with Desperate Housewives, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Ricky Gervais's new show Extras all premiering.

Wednesday, September 28: Oh, Miss Mars, you spunky little PI . . . Veronica Mars gears up for a promising sophomore season.

Thursday, September 29: Alias is the shiznit. 'Nuff said.

This list has worked me into a bit of a fanboy frenzy.

Excuse me while I roll over for a smoke . . . .

Witness to Tragedy

2005-09-11T09:53:00.000-05:00

Four years ago today, on a Tuesday morning as I was preparing to head out the door to work, I flipped on the Today Show. I remember telling my wife, as I watched the live feed, "Hey, it looks like the World Trade Center is on fire." Shortly after that, I watched in horror as a commercial jet crashed into the second tower.

That day, we experienced a terrible tragedy as a nation. (Of course, my experience, from the landlocked and directly unaffected Hoosier state, was nothing in comparison to those in New York, DC, and Pennsylvania.) For all the "couch potato" and "vast wasteland" pejoratives that are thrown at television and television watchers, it was the TV that riveted us in the heartland that day. It brought home the terror of the victims and the excruciating panic and grief of the survivors.

TV may be rightly subject to the accusation of contributing to a parade of horribles, but on September 11, 2001, TV bore witness to a tragedy and, in doing so, united us as a nation in grief and resolve.

Actually, Nobody Appears to Hate Him

2005-09-11T09:50:00.000-05:00

More hype for Everybody Hates Chris.

Fox took a pass. UPN picked it up. Will CBS try to steal it?

Details in the linked story.

Reunion: Can Concept Save Poor Execution?

2005-09-09T13:54:00.000-05:00

I caught the premiere of Reunion last night on Fox.

The acting was spotty. The dialogue was a bit obvious and way too expositional. But, the concept is so intriguing that I'm willing to stick around for the ride for a few years to see if the execution catches up.

(If you watched or know anything about the show, you'll know that when I say "years," I mean "episodes" of the show. Each episode represents a year in the life of 6 friends, starting with their high-school graduation.)

There was a bit of a hiccup in terms of legal procedure, but I'll let that slide. The bigger problem was that I just can't imagine asking a friend to take the fall for me in such a major way, like Craig did of Will. But, even more than that, what was Will thinking? I mean, I understand that Will felt guilty about his fling with Samantha and that he has an inferiority complex about Craig, but going to jail for his Brown-bound buddy is just nuts. And Craig's whiney story about the DWI ruining his future was just blatant overkill. Come on, it's not like he was headed for Harvard.

Tee, hee. Ivy League humor is such fun. After all, what's more hilarious than piling snobbery on snobbery?

A Precious Decade

2005-09-08T17:59:00.000-05:00

Did you know that the WB's 7th Heaven will begin its 10th season in just over a week?
Did you know that the WB's 7th Heaven was still on?
Did you know that the WB had a 7th Heaven?
Did you know there is a WB?

My answers are (1) no, (2) only on the most subconscious of levels, (3) [unfortunately] yes, and (4) of course, and don't let tripe like 7th Heaven or Blue Collar TV drive you away from some of the other good shows.

Back to 7th Heaven. Has there been a more precious show? That Camden family sure soldiers through their "rough" times and comes out smiling. Every stray dog, stray kid, and sour old fart of a parishioner from Rev. Camden's congregation comes out smellin' like roses after a few days with the Camden clan. Oh, I know they've had their problems in the past, with mom Annie's mid-life-ish crisis-type thing and some of the kids losing their way a bit. But how many times were the Camden parents just sure one of their kids was plotting a suicide mission at the local high school, dealing drugs, or engaging in promiscuous pre-marital sex only to find out that the kid was actually washing windows for a disabled elderly shut-in or helping a newfound friend escape his abusive father? It's more sweetness than this TV fan can stomach. (Can I get a "true dat," Trailhead Spouse?)

Now, don't give me crap about "family friendly" shows and 7th Heaven "needing" to be on
TV. You don't gotta be sappy and vapid to be family friendly. Ask those Gilmore Girls (at least in seasons 1-3).

WILY TV 9/7/05: Land of the Lost Timezone

2005-09-08T12:59:00.000-05:00

Because I live in the time zone that is the rough equivalent of the Land of the Lost, I had a really frustrating experience last night while watching TV. Fortunately, the state legislature has taken action to rectify the situation. It will just come a little to late to avert last night's crisis.

I've made no secret of the fact that I'm a big tennis fan, right? Well, last night I was watching the U.S. Open quarterfinal match between Andre Agassi and James Blake on the USA Network. It was a real barn-burner; a high quality, super entertaining match. Blake won the first two sets fairly quickly and was up a break in the third, when Agassi turned on whatever it is that Agassi sometimes turns on and fought back to even the match at two sets all. Then, Ted Robinson announced that USA would be ending coverage of the match shortly and CBS would continue coverage live. He explained, quite reasonably, that USA's contract for coverage requires it to sign off and hand coverage over to CBS, except in the Pacific Time Zone, where USA continued "prime time" coverage. (It was 11:35 p.m. by my local time.) CBS would take over live coverage in place of its regularly-scheduled U.S. Open Highlights show, which airs at 12:35 a.m. Eastern.

Well, I new I was in trouble. You see, in the crazy time warp in which I live, the TV stations actually tape the New York feeds and broadcast them an hour later. So, prime time in my little world actually starts an hour later than prime time in New York. As a result, there was an hour break between when USA signed off and my local CBS station picked up "live" coverage of the Agassi/Blake match. Can you say frustrating?

As it turns out, it was a great match down to the wire. I was glad I stayed up the extra hour and watched.

What I learned yesterday (and, sort of today, if you're a stickler for time details) on TV: This is just another example of why the state in which I live was correct in finally giving in to that daylight savings time "fad." The switch just can't come quickly enough. It's been a controversial issue in the state this year. I offer no opinion here regarding in which of the time zones the state should take up permanent residence, though I actually have one. Nevertheless, I've definitely joined the camp that believes the legislature did the right thing. It took a TV glitch, though, to make me a hardcore proponent.

What else would you expect?

P.S. I know the illusion of my geographical "anonymity" has been completely shattered by this post and, yet, I insist on talking around the actual place where I live. Odd. Well, let's make it a game. If you don't know me personally, see if you can be the first person to leave a comment identifying my home state. You've got all the information you need right here in this post. In doing so, you'll free me from the silly exercise of guarding that portion of my anonymity.

10 "Must Sees"

2005-09-06T18:20:00.000-05:00

Entertainment Weekly offers up "10 Shows You Need to See" in the upcoming TV season.

Two observations:

Four of the shows are half-hour comedies (which recently were thought a dying breed) and two are reality shows. So, fewer than half are dramas, which is what all the breakout hits of last year were.
I have been looking forward to trying to catch at least an episode or two of 9 of the 10 shows. I haven't given the remaining show a single thought until now. Can you guess which one? (UPDATE: I'll give you "Three" guesses. Don't you "Wish" you knew? "Grant"ed, you may not care.)

A Moment of Silence for a TV Icon

2005-09-06T18:15:00.000-05:00

Bob Denver has died. May you rest in piece "little buddy."

Everything But A Little Bow on Top (UPDATED)

2005-09-05T14:58:00.000-05:00

Raise your hand if you thought the resolution to Entourage's second season was a little too "neat."

Uh, yeah, me too.

UPDATE: Charles Curtis as ew.com agrees with me to an extent, though he does point out several unresolved plot points that will be interesting fodder for the third season. The primary examples are Ari's attempt to re-establish himself and E and Sloan's DOA relationship.

"Spider Eyes"

2005-09-04T23:56:00.000-05:00

How Valerie described Jane, her producer, on tonight's episode of The Comeback.

I still say Jane is a wolf in sheep's clothing regardless of the sympethic light in which she was painted tonight. She knew full well that Valerie would be skewered on "The Comeback." Still, Valerie is such a patsy. Jane probably could have been totally up front with Valerie about how the editing would go and Valerie would have ignored her. Does that in any way redeem Jane? No. It just doesn't make me feel badly for Valerie in particular.

I've really enjoyed The Comeback but I'm not sure what lesson I'm supposed to have learned. I suppose it is the inanity of celebrity and the soullessness of "reality" television. However, it's difficult not to conclude simply that all reality TV "stars" deserve our contempt. I'm not sure that's particularly insightful or funny.

The chocolate fountain at Valerie's Comeback premiere party, on the other hand, well, that's just genius.

Death and Drama

2005-09-04T17:38:00.000-05:00

Over on PopWatch, the Entertainment Weekly blog on ew.com, Michael Slezak ponders whether Alias might get a much-needed shot in the arm by actually killing off Michael Vaughn. He notes that Alias suffered from two major maladies in the fourth season, one new and the other ongoing. Both involve Vaughn. First, he argues, that the chemistry between Sydney and Vaughn (former real-life lovebirds Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan) is kaput. Second, he suggests that the otherwise excellent pacing, suspense, and excitement of Alias is weakened by the fact that none of the major characters -- and even none of the minor good guy characters -- ever dies. In fact, at this point, we "know" they won't. Slezak's point is that both of these shortcomings could be completely remedied by allowing the car crash (which I discussed here) to be the vehicle to shuffle Agent Vaughn off this mortal coil. (Get it? Vehicle . . . okay, whatever.)

Let me premise this by saying that I don't necessarily agree with Mr. Slezak that Alias's fourth season was disappointing and certainly not more so than the third. Nevertheless, I'm particularly intrigued by this notion of the expendability of major characters being a way to ratchet up the drama and suspense on a show. I think Mr. Slezak is definitely onto something. Both 24 and Lost have proven that few of the main characters are unexpendable (save, perhaps, the Jacks on each show). Even Desperate Housewives proved, with the deaths of Martha Huber and Rex, that all but the 5 "housewives" are likely expendable. As a result, on those shows, when a character faces danger, my sense is that the danger feels more immediate. The drama is more intense. The suspense is palpable. While it's a kick to see how Sydney's going to get herself out of her latest life-threatening imbroglio, it's not the same.

Of course, there's a trade-off for this kind of danger, drama, and suspense. We have to be willing to let go of the characters we know and love. Are we willing to say goodbye to Vaughn? Perhaps. (Although some are clearly not ready for that.) But what about Sloane? Or Jack?*** Or Sydney? Is the increase in drama really worth the loss of the show's core characters? I don't think so. After all, the soul of Alias is really the relationships, not the action.

***NOTE: What's with all the Jacks on these shows? It's like the go-to name.

Two Punches

2005-09-04T08:05:00.000-05:00

Last week's penultimate episodes of Entourage and The Comeback featured two punches. Tonight, in the season (and sadly, for The Comeback, it might be series) finales, we'll find out what sort of fall-out those punches will bring.

On Entourage, Ari overplayed his hand at the agency. Terrance, his "retired" partner and mentor, decided to come back to work. After spending several episodes courting Vince and making Ari very nervous, Terrance made his intentions clear. Ari asked for an extension on his contract. Terrance stonewalled. Ari decided to employ his own "nuclear option," by trying to gather agents whom he thought would be loyal to him, only to create his own Judas in Johnny Drama's super-vacuous agnet Adam. Once again, Terrance had the upper hand and Ari was left without a job, without a car, and -- most devistating for Ari -- without a phone. What did he have? Lloyd, his Michelle-Kwan-in-drag, loyal, and (it turns out) exceedingly competent assistant.

So, the Entourage punch? After he learned that he'd been stripped of the company car, Ari punched the parking garage wall as he waited for Lloyd to pick him up in Lloyd's The Fast and the Furious prop car. It was the ultimate symbolic act of futility and summed up nicely Ari's missteps in the episode. He took on an immovable force in Terrance and only ended up hurting himself.

Luckily, Lloyd was there to help pick up the pieces and, in doing so, negotiated a bit of a reprieve from Ari's constant stream of racist and homophobic comments. Lloyd's no dummy; Ari better thank his lucky stars that he has Lloyd. Especially when it comes to dealing with Vince, whom Ari will have to convince to stay on as a client while trying to talk him down from the edge of career suicide as he contemplates quitting the Cameron-directed Aquaman pic.

Oh, and Ari's going to have to deal with Shauna, Vince's hardnosed publicist played to perfection by Debi Mazar.

On The Comeback, it was the punch we'd all been waiting for and it was played to perfection. The network forced Tom and Paulie G to write Aunt Sassy into the B story on the latest episode of "Room and Bored," so it could be used as a promotion vehicle for Valerie's reality show, also called "The Comeback." The episode tag involved Aunt Sassy hopped up on diet pills and dressed as a giant cupcake, while taking a pratfall.

Little did everyone know that Valerie had suffered from severe scoliosis as a young girl, which was corrected with a steel rod in her spine. Thus, the pratfall posed a real danger of injury for Valerie. Nevertheless, she soldiered on.

Further complicating the situation, Paulie G, Valerie's nemesis, was left in charge of the show in the wake of Tom's mysterious "ulcer thing."

Valerie discussed her concerns with her husband Mark, who offered to go down to the set and punch Paulie G in his big, fat gut. While Valerie rightly assumed that Paulie G would be a tough customer to please, she insisted that Mark say away. No need for violence.

As Valerie filmed the tag, a beer-and-pizza binging Paulie G refused to provide any feedback. After three takes produced nothing but stone-faced indifference from Paulie G, Valerie decided to go for broke and do the pratfall on her back. It worked and she was not seriously injured. True to her oh-so-needy character, Valerie reached out to Paulie G and sought some sort of validation. She asked if he thought they got a good take, to which he coldly responded, "I liked the first one." This was more than even Valerie the consummate trooper could take. She started to cry and protest that she could have really hurt herself. Of course, Paulie G simply tried to pass it off as a joke.

Valerie dejectedly turned to walk away, but, then, WHAM! Valerie turned around and socked Paulie G in the gut. That beer and pizza he'd been stuffing in his pie hole during the entire shoot quickly found its way to the set floor. Valerie reciprocated, apparently sickened by the sight of another person's vomit.

It was a typically humiliating experience for Valerie, caught on tape and all. Still, who knew she had that punch in her?

I can only hope that the fall-out of both punches tonight will be as fun as the build-up and execution of each punch was.

Several Things Lost . . . Oh, Gawd, I love that show!

2005-09-02T13:31:00.000-05:00

Nice column (mostly) about the upcoming season Lost from E! Online's TV Diva Kristen Veitch. (Make sure you watch the video of the Damon Lindelof interview. He's hilarious.)
If you haven't yet visited either site, go to www.oceanicflight815.com and www.oceanic-air.com
The first season DVD drops on Tuesday, with 8 hours of extras. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That's me screaming like a little school girl.)

Please Excuse the Break in Blooging

2005-09-02T12:39:00.000-05:00

I teach. My classes started this week. I've watched very little TV. The short time the TV has been on, it's primarily been tuned to USA's coverage of the US Open or to some coverage of the Katrina/levee disaster. Then, we have to turn off the TV and reassure Wasteland Kid that we will not likely be forced to climb on the roof or flee in the car to avoid an onslaught of rushing water. So, please excuse the break in the TV blogging. The watching has been either non-existent, sports, or terribly devastating, none of which lends itself to much of a Postcard.

Epilogues

2005-08-29T22:19:00.000-05:00

SPOILER WARNING: If you haven't yet seen the season finale of The 4400 and you want to avoid spoilers and/or any teasers for next season (is there going to be a next season?), read no further.

The 4400's season finale was fairly entertaining. I'm not sold on some of the developments. Kyle's decision to come clean and Tom's support doesn't really work as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know what to make of the exploding ball of light that Shawn pulled out of Kyle.

I was less than convinced by the standoff between Tom and Ryland. Tom mentions "Firewall" and Ryland backs down, only to be arrested the next day (or so). Seems to me Ryland may have just ordered the safe house to be stormed when he knew he'd been found out by Tom and Diana.

Nonetheless, I'm intrigued by the second (and altogether different) use of an epilogue in a finale this season. I've previously written about the Six Feet Under epilogue. It was meant to bring some closure. Clearly, the montage of scenes at the end of last night's episode of The 4400 had the opposite goal in mind. It set up a number of new and head-scratch-worthy new directions. (See here for exec producer Steve Behr's comments on the epilogue.)

Richard seems to be developing a new telekenetic skill. Maybe the promicin shots did more than cure the 4400. The promicin may have created new talents in some of them.

Isabelle's overnight growth spurt deepens the mystery surrounding her and adds another level of hubba-hubba factor to the show (though it's a little bit creepy to think she was a toddler yesterday and a naked woman today).

Richard, Lily, and big-girl Isabelle have some serious dysfunctional family dynamics ahead of them, I'd guess.

We would expect no less than an apocalyptic warning from Maia; the war is just beginning. But, who knows, maybe she just disapproves of Mommy kissing Marco.

And why is creepy "father of 4400 technology" Burkhoff injecting himself with the promicin?

Finally, Jordan Collier is alive? Interesting. Still . . . get thee to a barber, Jordan.

Prison Break and Bedtime

2005-08-29T22:16:00.000-05:00

I missed the first 90 minutes of the premiere of Prison Break because I was tasked with bathing Wasteland Kid and getting him to sleep. I don't know when he fell asleep, but it only took me about 10 minutes.

I'm hoping to catch a rebroadcast a some point.

"Preparing for the End of Will and Grace"

2005-08-28T20:11:00.000-05:00

Article on CNN.com here.

No preparation necessary. Just put it out of its misery.

(Oh, and Eric McCormack, when you start pointing to the Emmy nominations to make the case that you're still good and relevant, it's a sure sign you're no longer good and relevant.)

Reminders

2005-08-28T16:14:00.000-05:00

USA Network airs the season finale of The 4400 tonight. (Yes, I've watched enough to catch on now, even though I missed a few episodes.) What is that promicin inhibitor? Why does the US government want the 4400 to be dead or incapacitated? I must know the answers.

The series premiere of Prison Break airs tomorrow at 8 pm ET on Fox. It's one of the new shows I'm going to give a shot this season. Advance buzz has been strong. See here for a previous related post.

Oh, Baby Brother!

2005-08-27T22:27:00.000-05:00

Um, okay. So, John de Mol and the braintrust behind Big Brother want to include a pregnant woman in the cast of the upcoming season of the show in the Netherlands. Now, she's not just pregnant, but due to give birth in just six weeks, smack in the middle of the show's run. The producers plan to broadcast the birth. Here's the story from CNN.

The Dutch government is investigating the request from the BB producers, because Dutch law sets strict limits on the conditions under which children and infants can appear on screen as "actors." The mother, however, is apparently thrilled and thinks her child will one day be proud of his or her forced participation on the show. Talk about your world premieres.

I've made no secret of my complete mystification at what motivates people to subject themselves to the humiliating experience that is Big Brother (even taking into account that the winner wins some money). But, forcing an innocent newborn to be one of the house guests is simply going too far. In this country, we may be deeply divided about the legal status and rights of the unborn, but I think we can find some common ground on this subject. No one -- and, I mean, NO ONE -- should be involuntarily subjected to the banal insanity of the Big Brother house and the unblinking eye of the roughly two million cameras therein without providing prior knowing and voluntary consent.

God, that kid's gonna hate his mom one day. Can you say therapy?

Incidentally, the world-wide success of the Big Brother franchise is evidence that we live in a truly global society. Unfortunately, it seems the evidence lies in a shared depraved penchant for voyeurism and an unhealthy addiction to reality TV. What, we couldn't all rally around Monet, Mozart, or even Bergman?

Whedon on Mars and Spike

2005-08-27T10:51:00.000-05:00

I love Joss Whedon. Buffy and Angel were a couple of the best shows of the past decade. He's a genius.

If you agree (and you're a brainless mouthbreather if you don't), then you'll be interested to know that Joss has recently done two noteworthy things, leaving aside preparing for the release of Serenity in the theaters on September 30.

First, Whedon wrote a veritable love letter to UPN's Veronica Mars on his website. He's right, you know. You should be watching that show. It's by far the show sporting the most ridiculous inverse quality-to-ratings ratio. The second season promises to be great.

Second, Whedon reportedly approached long-time collaborator Tim Minear about writing the oft-hoped-for-but-thought-unlikely Spike-based TV movie. Yippeee!

Speaking of 24

2005-08-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a great little Q&A with Wentworth Miller an Dominic Purcell of Prison Break, Fox's entry to tide us over until 24 returns in January.

I'm gonna give the show a shot. It looks like a suitable placeholder.

Kiss My Astin!

2005-08-26T22:47:00.000-05:00

Sean Astin is joining the cast of 24 for the new season starting in January 2006. I'd make a hobbit joke, but too many others have beaten me to the punch.

My Own Little Reverse Blind Item

2005-08-26T22:45:00.000-05:00

Wasteland Fan authored one of the questions that Matt Roush answers in his semi-weekly Q&A column today on TV Guide Online. Can you guess which one?

WILY TV 8/25/05: Of Pony Tails and Clam Diggers (Or the Double Standard Rears Its Ugly Head)

2005-08-26T11:30:00.000-05:00

Last evening I was watching the tennis match between Tommy Haas and James Blake at the Pilot Penn Open in New Haven. It's the final event in the US Open Series of hardcourt tennis events leading up the the final leg of tennis's Grand Slam, the US Open.

As I watched, I was reminded of what a cosmopolitan sport tennis is. The players' coiffures were particularly illustrative of the point. Tommy Haas was rockin' the wavy, girly pony tail and James Blake, a cople of years removed from his dreds, sported the headband-without-hair bald shave.

It's intersting how many tenni-tails there are out there. Check out Feliciano Lopez, Roger Federer (up until last year), Lleyton Hewitt (who rotates between the tenni-tail and the close-shorn look), Xavier Malisse, and Gaston Gaudio. In a sport where the women have undergone a radical makeover from the unabashedly buff, butch, and lesbian Martina Navratilova to the overtly feminine and (hetero-)sexual marketing by the WTA (though the latest campaign comes close to self-mocking in that regard), the haute couture style-over-substance (Kournikova, party of one, your table is ready) and jail-bait-in-the-making undercurrent to the women's game (remember, some of these players are still in their tender teen years) just hasn't caught on among the men.*** Venus Williams designs her tennis outfits with the likes of Diane von Furstenberg, but Rafael Nadal wears the lamentably low-fashion clam diggers and sleeveless shirt combo. We won't even bother to comment about the horrid mullet craze among the Argentinian men (see, e.g., David Nalbandian and Guillermo Coria).

Of course, this is just another incident of sexism at work. "We don't mind if you ladies are physically fit and phenomenally talented, as long as you look sexy doing it." I don't like it. And I applaud players like Lindsay Davenport and Amelie Mauresmo, who obviously take pride in their fitness and general appearance, but have no time for the sexualized and vacuous promotion practices of the WTA. I wish more of the players would take a stand.

(Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in dictating how the players present themselves. If a female professional tennis player feels comfortable or empowered by wearing short, tight skirts and enjoys dabbling in fashion, and/or just likes to feel and look sexy, more power to her. I just wish the WTA didn't focus on that to the exclusion of the remarkable tennis skills of the players. Moreover, I wish I didn't have the sneaking suspicion that the WTA pressures the players to present the girly sex kitten image.)

It's an age old story: men are appreciated in spite of (because of?) their general lack of fashion sense, while women must conform to some constructed definition of femininity and sexuality in order to be appreciated.

What I Learned Yesterday on TV: Even on the tennis court, the gender double standard is alive and well.

***Out of fairness, I should note that the (thankfully) abandoned "new balls please" campaign by the ATP a few years ago was not without it sexual overtones.

Feast or Famine (UPDATED)

2005-08-24T22:33:00.000-05:00

With the demise of NBC's "Must See TV," an interesting phenomenon has developed on Thursday nights. Because the night is a potentially highly profitable night for broadcasters in terms of advertising sales, the networks have been scratching and clawing to pick up any portion of the Thursday night audience that was set free when Seinfeld ended, Friends took its leave, and ER stopped being entertaining. The new fall season promises a glut of popular programming all competing for viewers on Thursday nights. The OC, Survivor, Smallville, Alias, Joey/Will & Grace, Everybody Hates Chris all duke it out in the 8 o'clock hour. These are all either established hits, quality shows, cult favorites, or (in the case of Chris) a new show with serious buzz. Aside from those who have multiple VCRs, DVRs, or ADD, a person simply can't watch everything that's worth watching among those shows.

Me? I'll be watching Alias. It's not even a difficult decision for me, though I'll likely tape the first couple of episodes of Everybody Hates Chris. The teasers suggest its way too good to pass up altogether.

UPDATE: Zap2It has an interesting article about the WB's attempt to grab some Thursday night viewers with the Smallville/Everwood move to the crowded Thursday night.

It's Already Gone

2005-08-23T12:40:00.000-05:00

"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

That is Nate's parting bit of advice to Claire as she bids farewell to her (radically transformed) family at the foot of Fisher & Sons' steps. And, I think, those are Alan Ball's parting words to us, his audience. Live in the moment. Don't dwell on the past. Death is sure, but life is not. The life part it up to you.

Six Feet Under often meandered into the pretentious and this scene hovered near the tri-state line of touching/overwrought/pretentious. But, I thought it was effective. Nate is right: the moment is gone and it's time to move on.

In some ways, the finale betrayed the overall tone of the show, especially the epilogue. I had mixed feelings about the epilogue. I enjoyed it. Seeing glimpses of the Fishers'/Chenowiths'/Charleses'/Diazes' future lives and deaths provided a real sense of closure that series finales so seldom provide (see, e.g., Angel's series finale "Not Fade Away"). On the other hand, my first reaction was to feel betrayed because the epilogue felt hopeful and peaceful in a way that didn't match the previous 62 3/4 episodes much. Aside from Keith (who's death scene was inordinately cheesy, even if horrific), the characters lived what appeared to be long, productive lives and died natural, often peaceful, deaths. We saw happy gatherings, including the weddings of Keith and David as well as Claire and Ted. Durrell and Anthony appeared to grow into well-adjusted men with nice families. Even George and Ruth found a way to structure their relationship that kept them together for another couple of decades. There was no swearing, no near-psychotic breaks, and no disintigrating relationships.

Still, I think there is much more to that epilogue than can be appreciated in a single viewing. I'm certain that many of the tableau-like scenes provided subtle hints of what the future holds for the Fishers/Chenowiths/Charleses/Diazes. For instance, I wasn't able to catch who Brenda was sitting with at Keith and David's wedding. Was it Billy? Was it another man? Did she ever move beyond Nate? (We know she didn't move beyond Billy.) It seemed like Rico and Venessa must have been successful in their business. Rico died on what appeared to be a luxury cruise. I couldn't tell (aside from Keith) what affliction claimed any of the other characters in the end. Did Ruth and Claire suffer prior to death?

In retrospect, I'm not sure all was signaled to be peaches and cream for the various characters. For instance, Brenda and Billy were never able to grow beyond each other and, eventually, Billy literally talked Brenda to death. Not only is that hilarious, it's sad. Likewise, Claire's death scene portended some heartache. She lived to be 101 years old, but she was clearly blind at the time of her death. As a photographer, her sight was a beloved commodity that she lost at some point.

I'm also intrigued by the notion that Claire's coming of age became, I think only in retrospect, the show's defining story arc. As Claire leaves, so does the show. David has gone nowhere, but is finally contented with his place in life. Ruth's evolution is encapsulated in her ability to let go of Claire and be at peace with that decision. So, it's Claire who's really grown. She never knew her dad, didn't know her brother Nate as well as she would have liked, didn't stick around to get to know David as well as she could, learned from her mother's mistakes, and in the end stepped into her own. I like it.

What do we take from Six Feet Under. Plenty. Some of it in spite of the terribly flawed characters. But, at its base, I think we learn:

Life goes on. Death is inevitable. Make the best of the former before the latter catches up with you.

UPDATE: You can view the obituaries of Ruth, Keith, David, Rico, Brenda, and Claire on the SFU website at HBO.

UPDATE 2: Here is an attempt to glean some info from the obits and (in the comments) from a closer viewing of the epilogue. Some of these were, I thought, fairly apparent upon the first viewing. Others were not. I didn't catch that David met someone after Keith died. It explains the person who was sitting next to Brenda at the wedding (and her pregnant appearance . . . though that was as much a matter of Rachel's real life pregnancy as storytelling, I'm sure). And, most interestingly, the commenter who concluded that the future was all in Claire's imagination as she was driving to New York. Nice thought, but the obits suggest otherwise.

Amen and Pass the Potatoes

2005-08-23T10:15:00.000-05:00

Law "prawf" Paul Horwitz extols the virtues of TV as a pedagogical device.

As to his query about a tax write-off for a flat-screen TV, his tongue may be firmly in his cheek, but my cogs are spinning. TiVo, anyone?

TEEEEEEEEE VOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2005-08-22T00:07:00.000-05:00

As in, "We've got to get . . . ."

Because I live in the Central Time Zone (more or less) the series finale of Six Feet Under aired from 8-9:15. That falls right during the bedtime routine for Wasteland Kid. So, we taped Six Feet Under.

Or so we thought.

We made it through the first 60 minutes (Claire was saying goodbye to David and Ruth), but the tape ran out and we didn't get to see the last 15 minutes. So, we have to wait for the replay tomorrow night to see the end, including the epilogue.

I have been asking to get TiVo or some alternate FauxVo for years. Perhaps Wasteland Spouse will agree now?

Doubt it. See, Wasteland Spouse adheres to the philosophy that watching TV is a shameful waste of time and should in no way be further enabled. Therefore, it should be somewhat painful to do, otherwise you might actually lose sight of what a slothful laggard you really are. Any "Vo" would be much too convenient. You might say that the VCR is our version of the hairshirt.

Well, I'll let you know my thoughts about the finale on Tuesday.

6FU: Pre-Plan

2005-08-21T16:08:00.000-05:00

In anticipation of tonight's series finale of Six Feet Under, I offer the following thoughts:

I'll miss the Fisher clan showing me how awful my life could be (or at least how awful my outlook on life could be) and making me feel all the better for it.
While the show is sometimes overwrought and pretentious and definitely dark-to-the-point-of-depressing at times, I've always (save, perhaps, the middle of the third season) found it entertaining and thought-provoking.
The show never quite again acheived the excellence of the final two episodes of the first season, but it was sometimes close and always, IMHO, worth the ride for its effort.
One part of me hopes at least some of the Fishers get a happy ending; another part of me would feel that betrays the tone of the show.
I understand there will be an epilogue to the finale, showing how each of the Fishers shuffles off the mortal coil. That strikes me as wrongheaded, but the proof of that will be in the pudding. I'll let you know what I think tomorrow.

Enjoy.

Now the Story of a Wealthy Family Who Lost Everything

2005-08-19T23:12:00.000-05:00

When Ron Howard intones those words it means one thing: a half-hour of craziness is about to unfold.

Caught a couple of rerun episodes of Arrested Development tonight on Fox. That show is hi-effin-larious.

I saw "Meet the Veals" and "Spring Breakout."

My favorite line of the night came in the "on the next Arrested Development" segment at the end of the "Meet the Veals" episode, when Buster -- after losing his hook to the police dog, replaces it with Franklin, GOB's smack-talking afroed dummy -- responds to Lucille's admonition that Buster won't be allowed in the country club with "that." Buster, in Franklin's voice, says:

I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, you freak bitch!

Love it!

(NOTE: You can hear this line by going to this site, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking on the Open/Save link for "Franklin 5.")

Martha's Minions

2005-08-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

You want to be Martha Stewart's Apprentice? Too late this go-round, filming has wrapped.

Apparently, NBC has released some info on the wannabe media-moguls-in-the-making. I predict that Jeff (the "Creative Director") will be the first Stewart lackey, though Shawn (the "TV Newscaster") may give him a run for his money. That would, of course, make Jeff the first openly gay Apprentice, which seems -- for whatever reason -- much more likely on Martha's version than on The Donald's.

Funny little aside: Did you notice that Marcela (the "Cooking Instructor") "now teaches cooking classes to over 40 students." Over 40? Wow, how does she manage it?

Hat tip to Althouse.

More Speculation

2005-08-18T15:48:00.000-05:00

In light of the previous post asking for speculation about JJ Abrams' plans for Alias this season, why don't we play the speculation game for Lost as well. Only, this time, let's change the rules a bit.

Here are 10 guesses for what the Oceanic Flight 815 survivors might find at the bottom of the ladder in the hatch:

Richard Simmons
Dogs Playing Poker
Rosie O'Donnell's long lost sense of good-natured humor
Masters for the never-broadcast episodes of Eyes
Slestaks
Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner (here's wishing her well with her chemo)
Newt Gingrich's political career
My copy of Alannis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill (the original, not the new acoustic version from Starbucks)
Osama Bin Laden
Waldo

"First of all, my name is not Michael Vaughn."

2005-08-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

According to this story, the premiere of season 5 of Alias is a mere 6 weeks away, on September 29. (Aside: September 29 is Wasteland Fan's 33rd birthday and the premiere of Alias is a nice gift.)

With that in mind, I'd like to speculate about last season's cliffhanger, which involved Agent Vaughn delivering the linethat is the title of this post followed by an out-of-nowhere and, seemingly, devastating car accident in which some huge SUV-looking thing T-Boned the driver side of the little green Jag Vaughn and Sydney were driving. I remember watching it and turning to Wasteland Spouse, both of us with our mouths agape, saying "Huh?"

Who is Michael Vaughn, if not Michael Vaughn? I would guess he has some connection to Rimbaldi. Hence, Jennifer Garner's real life pregnancy can be worked into the Alias story line and play out one of the Rimbaldi prophecies (and develop a bit more one of the hanging threads from Season 3's "lost years" storyline, involving the harvesting of Sydney's eggs to combine with Rimbaldi's, uh, DNA or whatever).

I would also guess that his father was a Russian spy, tied in some way to Irina. So, Vaughn's given name is Aleksandr Tursinov, or something like that. That might explain the cryptic conversation between Vaughn and Irina as they were fixing the subway train earlier in the episode.

I've no idea how all that adds up to it not being a coincidence that Vaughn was assigned as Sydney's handler when she walked into the CIA to turn double agent on SD-6 during the series premiere -- as Vaughn told Sydney it was no coincindence just before divulging that he is not, in fact, Michael Vaughn.

Thing is, neither of these two speculations is very creative or inspiring. What do you think? How's JJ Abrams going to pull this one out and maintain even a shred of integrity to the previous four seasons' storylines?

P.S. I refuse to believe it was a dream sequence, as suggested by several speculators on the Television Without Pity boards. JJ wouldn't do that to us, would he?

WILY TV 8/17/05: Theo Whah?

2005-08-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

This blog is starting to border on all-reality-all-of-the-time territory. I think it's as much a reflection of summer TV fare as it is my car wreck fascination. I'll try to branch out soon, especially about the upcoming fall season of shows.

Nevertheless, last night I caught the premier of Bravo's new and retro Battle of the Network Reality Stars (using "Stars" very loosely). I paid a little bit of attention for the first 15 minutes or so, then lost interest.

At any rate, I did learn something very enlightening during that 15 minutes last night; namely, the last names of a couple of Real World-ers. In particular, Theo's surname is Vonkurnatowski.

So, what I learned yesterday on TV: There's often a good reason that reality shows identify the cast by first name only.

Oh, Brother!

2005-08-17T07:59:00.000-05:00

Last night I caught ten minutes of this summer's version of needles poking me repeatedly in the eyes . . . er, Big Brother.

Riddle me this, Batman: Who are these people who audition to be on such a crappy show where pretty much everyone ends up reviled and ridiculed and only one person gets money?

On the Amazing Race, even the losers get to travel to "amazing" places. And, at least on Survivor and The Apprentice some of the castaways/apprenti end up with other opportunities in entertainment or business. It doesn't seem to be the case with Big Brother.

While there are some parallels between Big Brother and The Real World in terms of revulsion and ridicule faced by the "roommates," they are at least uniformly young, inexperienced, and stupid (and relatively younger and less experienced -- though certainly no stupider -- than the Big Brother "housemates"). Even so, there are a couple of interesting differences. It seems MTV plies the roommates with great cities to live in, great digs, and enough free alcohol to fell a herd of elephants. On the other hand, BB housemates are isolated in a weirdly sterile production studio of a home and given peanut butter and jelly to eat. Furthermore, plenty of the roommates parlay the RW experience, appropriately enough, into speaking gigs to other young, inexperienced, and stupid people, mostly on college campuses across the country. I'm unaware of a similar phenomenon with the BB housemates. Finally, a small, but significant, number of the RW roommates have developed a cottage industry of repeatedly appearing in the Real World/Road Rules Challenges that MTV produces with freakish regularity. The housemates from BB get dumped out on a studio lot once they're evicted and CBS seldom looks back at them.

As I said, I've never applied to be a cast member on any reality show,* so perhaps it's just my own lack of imagination and initiative that leaves me wondering at the motivation of reality show wannabes.

So, help me out. If you've ever sent in an audition for a reality show or gone to an open casting call for one, why? Really, I want to know (especially if that show was Big Brother).

*I was a junior in college -- you know, young, inexperienced, and stupid -- when I discovered Real World Los Angeles. I so almost applied for the next season. I'm really glad I didn't. The next season was in San Francisco. I couldn't imagine having been Puck's roommate.

Ten Things I've Never Done (Wasteland Edition)

2005-08-16T18:20:00.000-05:00

This meme circulated on some blawgs a few months back. I thought it might be a nice way to open a little window into the mind and life of Wasteland Fan, while modifying the meme a bit. I will list ten things I've never done regarding TV.

I've never:

Seen an episode of Dallas, including "Who Shot J.R.?"; yet somehow I feel like I know all about it.
Ordered a pay-per-view movie through my digital cable service. Netflix rules!
Watched an entire episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart from beginning to end, despite the fact that I love the show.
Written a spec script for a TV show, though I've often thought about it.
Cried while watching a long distance commercial, an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (okay, I've only watched two), or a movie of the week.
Watched anything on Court TV, even though I'm a lawyer and teach law (or, perhaps more accurately, becuase I'm a lawyer and teach law).
Completely stopped following Days of Our Lives, since one of my friends made me watch an episode when I was in seventh grade.
Gotten over the cancellation of Moonlighting. Why, oh why, did Dave and Maddie have to do the nasty?
Applied to be a cast member on a reality TV show. Nuff said.
Been able to stomach The Andy Griffith Show or All in the Family. I know, I know. They're classic television. I just can't deal, for no apparent reason.

Tag, Trailhead. You're it.

WILY TV 8/15/05: A Matter of Perspective

2005-08-16T17:18:00.000-05:00

I know I've been on overdrive with the Six Feet Under blogging, but it's what I've been watching most recently.

Last night I caught the second go-round of Static, the series' penultimate episode. (I missed the first airing because I was reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz to Wasteland Kid for our nightly pre-sleep ritual.)

Wow.

Both Claire and David have gone off the deep end. Ruth is interested in neither of them, instead apparently preferring to start over altogether with Maya.

I'll miss the big 0l' green hearse. It was, sometimes, my favorite character.

Brenda has a freakin' skeevy dream about a sexual encounter with Billy. Then she, gently, kicks him out of the house. As they used to say in Northern Indiana, "even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while." Likewise, even Brenda seems to make a good choice every now and then.

George is back. He's being quite helpful and supportive for Ruth. (Maggie, on the other hand, has no use for him. I guess she had to "f#%k someone else's husband to death," as Brenda rather indelicately put it, to make sense of her feelings toward her father.) Ruth, for her part, is accepting George's help and comfort. She even says to George, regarding Maya, "We could raise her couldn't we?"

What I learned last night on TV: It turns out you don't hate or resent your mentally ill, serial marrying know-it-all of an ex-husband so much when he's the only one left to provide support for you in the wake of your eldest son's untimely death.

I guess it's all a matter of perspective. Good to know.

Narm!

WILY TV 8/14/05: Give me a T! Give me a V!

2005-08-15T21:29:00.000-05:00

Admit it. When you run across the national cheerleading competitions on ESPN2, you watch. It's okay. You're not alone.

Now, I'll make a confession. I was a college cheerleader. Wasteland Spouse and I were stunting partners. It was fun and some of the most physically demanding stuff I've done. Hey, I weighed 200+ pounds and could do a standing back tuck. That took work. And, I spent hours on end holding young women -- admittedly, skinny young women, but still -- over my head and on my shoulders. I won't even start on the pain of a person falling on your head from 10 feet up, while kicking and screaming.

Anyways, yesterday, we ran across the NCA National Cheerleading championships on "The Deuce" and watched a bit. Then, later in the afternoon, we caught bits and pieces of Bring it On on one of the basic cable channels. (The movie basically sucks, but it's a fun sort of sucking and some of the barbs directed at cheerleading are spot on.)

At the end of the day, Wasteland Kid (who's 4) says, "Hey, do you want to see my cheerleading routine?" So, intrigued, I say yes. WK proceeds to turn his back to me, wiggle his ass, and say, "Shake you booty one more time! Shake your booty one more time!"

I told him he was 75% of the way to a national championship.

What I learned yesterday on TV: There's a little cheerleader in us all; embrace the cheerleader within.

The Long Awaited Verdict . . .

2005-08-13T12:27:00.000-05:00

is in. According to this report from Reuters (appearing on cnn.com) Fox TV has cleared Paula Abdul of allegations that she provided inappropriate assistance (of either the musical or the coital variety) to that Cold Hearted Snake Corey Clark during his 6 minutes of fame on American Idol.

If you're anything like me, in the midst of breathing a huge sigh of relief, you stopped yourself short and thought, "Like I care about Paula Abdul."

Two Good TV-Related Posts

2005-08-13T12:12:00.000-05:00

I'm a practicing attorney in recovery. So, I like to read law blogs or "blawgs" as the tragically techno-hip call them. So, I'd like to call your attention to two posts, which deal with TV, on Ann Althouse's blawg .

Hers is a good blawg; entertaining, intellectual, and wide-ranging.

Caution Trailhead: she's a self-described "moderate conservative."

WILY TV 8/11/05: Mockumentary Madness

2005-08-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite movies of all time is Waiting for Guffman. I enjoy all of the Christopher Guest mockumentaries, but Guffman really hits a chord with me for some reason. Perhaps its because I've participated in enough small-town musical productions to recognize a little of some people I know (and, to be fair, a little of me) in some of the characters. So, I don't see them so much pathetic as endearing.

I've written before about my fondness for Lisa Kudrow's HBO show, The Comeback. It mocks the whole celebreality phenomenon. (By the way, the last two episodes have been the best so far. When Valerie turned to the Lincoln Mercury dealer at the end of the Palm Springs episode and said, "I swear to God I will pull over and put you out on the side of the road," I thought I'd spray my half-chewed mouthful of string cheese all over the floor.)

So, last night I was flipping channels and decided to watch an episode of Reno 911! on Comedy Central, which is the retarded love child of Cops on Fox and the old Keystone Cops movies. I've caught a minute here and there before and thought it was funny. Last night, I watched an entire episode and I'm hooked. I know I'm late to the game on this one, but it is hilarious. Check out these clips for a taste. (My favorite is "Alien Shooting.") I'm so excited to catch up on all of the episodes of this show that I've missed. I see a re-ordering of my Netflix queue to include the Reno 911! DVDs in my future. (As an aside, right now I have Strangers with Candy, another former Comedy Central gem, in the primary position on my queue.)

What I learned yesterday on TV? It appears that I have an inexplicable and fundamental fondness for comedies that send up a familiar (but often ridiculous) aspect of life. I will call it Mockumentary Madness.

WILY TV 8/9/05: Love Stinks

2005-08-10T14:52:00.000-05:00

Having returned from a wonderful vacation on the Central and Northern California Coasts and the San Francisco Bay area in particular, I've had a lot of catching up to do on my summer TV shows. Several of my favorites are on HBO and, fortunately, I have digital cable that includes HBO On Demand. Thus, I've been frantically trying to get back up to speed with Entourage, The Comeback, and Six Feet Under. Last night I watched two episoides of SFU and one each of Entourage and Comeback. There was an interesting thread running through each.

What I learned yesterday on television: relationships can really suck (especially if you're a self-involved/depressed/debauched/amoral A-hole).

On Entourage, Vince was trying to deal with the remnants of his only serious heartbreak courtesy of Mandy Moore. On Comeback, Valerie's long-suffering husband Mark was left to come down from a Red-Bull-and-vodka buzz while dealing with Valerie's similarly buzzed melt-down, all inspired by the Aunt Sassy-centric episode of Room and Bored and the constant prying eyes of the reality show cameras. Why he stays with her is a real wonder.

Six Feet Under took the cake, though. Nate and Brenda can't get it together, they may (or may not) be having a child with special needs, Nate finds religion (sort of), he sleeps with Maggie, and immediately drops to the floor with an aneurism/stroke/heart attack. (NOTE: I've got two more episodes to go before I'm caught up, but -- don't tell Wasteland Spouse -- I've peeked and know that Nate is not long for this world.) You've gotta feel for both Brenda and Nate. If Nathaniel had just heeded the Surgeon General's Warning on his cigarette packs, he'd never have been in the car accident, Nate never would have come back to LA from Seattle on the same flight as Brenda, they'd never have banged in the broom closet at the airport (where was the lock on that closet anyway?), she wouldn't have driven him into Lisa's bed with her ridiculous emotional inaccessibility and nymphomaniacal acting out, Lisa probably would not have been murdered by her brother-in-law-turned-lover, Nate would not have meandered back into black hole of a relationship in which he and Brenda are perenially stuck, and (perhaps) he could have just dropped dead in the middle of Pike Place Market or on a switchback of the Mount Fremont Lookout Trail at Mount Rainier National Park and never missed all the crappy relationship stuff he and Brenda have made us suffer through for five years. Of course, then the mute cutie Maya probably would never have been born.

On second thought, maybe what I learned yesterday on TV was something I already knew: the kids make all the tough relationship s*#t worth it.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Even Couch Potatoes Read

2005-08-10T12:43:00.000-05:00

(WARNING: Anyone who has not read HPHBP may want to avoid this post as it is spoilerish.)

Every once in a while, Wasteland Fan shuts off the television and reads.* A few weeks ago, I did just that. I read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince cover to cover in a few days, while nursing Wasteland Spouse back to health during L'Affair Encephalitis, stepping up as the primary caregiver for Wasteland Kids, and writing a 25,000-word scholarly paper for a professional conference. Still, during all that, I ripped through the latest adventures of the crew at Hogwart's.

Having thought about the book and its somewhat surprising climax and denouement, I have to agree with Heidi Bond about one thing: Harry is most definitely one of The Dark Lord's remaining Horcruxes. It's consistent with many clues J.K. Rowling has planted throughout the series. I also enjoy that Harry is coming into his own as a hero; he's determined to be proactive, rather than the brave-but-reactive character he's been to this point.

(I'm less sure that I agree with Heidi's other main claim that a certain slimey head-of-house is still a sheep in wolf's clothing.)

Speaking of Horcruxes -- a magical receptical that holds a severed portion of one's soul and gives one immortality so long as the Horcrux remains intact -- I wonder if my TV isn't a bit like a Horcrux for me. A little (or big) piece of my life is intimately connected to it and as long as my TV is humming along without a hitch, I feel pretty invincible. On the other hand, as Professor Slughorn's recovered memory revealed to Harry, one must commit murder in order to perform the Horcrux creation spell. So, perhaps my TV isn't a genuine Horcrux, because the only thing I've murdered in its presence is an entire bag of Tostitos "Hint of Lime" Tortilla Chips.

At any rate, I had to jump on the bandwagon (even if way belatedly) to blog about Half-Blood Prince. Hence, the tortured logic that is this post shall come to a close.

*Sometimes I don't even have to shut off the television, because the bathroom is far enough away from the TV that I can concentrate on my reading -- and anything else I might happen to be doing -- without interrupting TV signal. But seriously, TV is no fun if you're illiterate. We all need to put down the remote and read once in a while. Besides, it makes watching Gilmore Girls all the more fun, because you'll have some idea of what all the historical and pop culture references are about.

What I Learned Yesterday on Television: Peter Jennings was a Fine Looking Man

2005-08-09T16:00:00.000-05:00

This is the inauguration of what I hope will be a daily (or near daily) post on Postcards from the Vast Wasteland. I am calling it "What I Learned Yesterday on Television" or WILY TV for short.

As any of you who know me can attest, I try to be somewhat reflective about what I spend my time doing. I don't always spend my time on the highest or most noble pursuits, but I try to be thoughtful about what I'm doing or what I've experienced. Certainly, my TV watching should be no different. Therefore, I want to share with you, my noble reader(s), my thoughts about my daily TV-watching habit. I hope it to be sometimes insightful, sometimes challenging, and (with any luck) most of the time entertaining and a little humorous.

So, here goes . . .

WILY TV 8/8/05:

Sadly, Peter Jennings died of cancer on Sunday. What follows is not intended to make light of the loss his family, friends, and colleagues have suffered.

What an odd year (speaking in the 12-month, rather than calendar sense) to have the three major networks' nightly news anchors all pass the microphone at the same time.

Wasteland Spouse has always had a bit of a chip on the shoulder when it comes to Mr. Jennings. Despite Wasteland Spouse's normally non-jingoistic nature, the fact that Jennings was Canadian, yet reporting US news (if there even is such a thing in this global society), rubbed Wasteland Spouse the wrong way. More of a problem, though, was the fact that Jennings was a high school drop out. Collecting news information from a dropout anchor was simply untenable. (BTW, Wasteland Spouse was appropriately grieved by Jennings passing; there was no pathological hostility buried in the shoulder chip.)

At any rate, it turns out that jingoism and educational snobbery were not the only obstacles Peter Jennings had to overcome during his illustrious career. Apparently, he was so good looking that, early in his career, his colleagues often refused to take him seriously. (Thus, it should not surprise anyone to learn that Jennings was a regular Casanova. Ted Koppel barely hid his smirk -- and, perhaps, his envy and awe -- as he commented on this fact and Jennings' four marriages.) As Wasteland Spouse and I watched Nightline last night, I nearly choked on the number of times "leading man looks" and "Holllywood good looks" were thrown out there in reference to Jennings.

So, I decided to give it some thought. I even took the time to look at some pictures. As it turns out, I learned that Peter Jennings was one fine looking man.

Postscript: I suppose it's also a matter of perspective. I mean, I don't know much about [ABC Science News editor] Jules Bergman, who's probably a really smart and capable man; but, in perusing the pictures to which I refer above, there is a picture of Peter and Jules together watching the first Apollo launch in 1975. Let's just say Jules is a bit Raymond to Jennings' Charlie.

Pick Up Man

2005-08-03T01:20:00.000-05:00

I ate at Applebee's last night. Frankly, it's not my favorite place. Still, my four-year-old loves the hotdogs and french fries. It was close to where we were staying and it was late.

Despite my ambivalent feelings about Applebee's food, I will confess a soft spot for the Applebee's television advertising. A smile always creeps on my face when I hear, "Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood" on my tube. You see, Wasteland Fan has a personal connection with the ads. Foremost is that Pick Up Man commercial. (You know, the one about the Applebee's Carside to Go service, where the hard-working dad picks up the food on his way home and his family loves him, becuase there's just something about a pick up man -- as Joe Diffie intones in the background.) A dear, dear friend is responsible for the idea, concept, and copy of the commercial.

Same Friend of Wasteland Fan (FoWF) is responsible for Applebee's newest tearjerker of a national branding spot, featuring the downtrodden and sadly defeated local high school football team who looks to add insult to injury by missing Applebee's closing time until the barman, waitress, and manager throw caution to the wind and invite the badly grass-stained team in for a special after hours ego-restoring orgy of mozzarella sticks, riblets, Irresist-a-bowls, and Apple Chimicheesecakes. It's the magnum opus of heart-string strumming "neighborhood eatery" spots Applebee's has sent over the airwaves over the last decade. You will recall its predecessor, the retiring coach spot, where the waitress asks "Coach" to help her hang a tribute to himself on Applebee's wall of "flair."

FoWF is modest and downplays her place in the pantheon of pop culture shapers, but I call it as I see it. I love the Applebee's ads.

Who couldn't love a company who finds a way to work the following phrase into a commercial for the Weight Watchers dishes, featuring a parody of the classic song "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate: "I'm goin' from love handles to love machine."

Genius.

I Make Like the Networks

2005-07-24T00:39:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I leave for two weeks of vacation in Northern California. Posting will be limited. I probably won't get much TV watched; however, I will get to see some of my favorite people on the planet.

After I return, I will post on:

Six Feet Under: Why Does It Make Me Feel Better to Watch Other People in Pain?
The Daily Show: Jon Stewart, Master Interviewer
Nip/Tuck: Are You Piddling Yourself in Anticipation? and Who's the Carver?
30 Days: Morgan Spurlock Ruins Other People's Health for Our Entertainment and Education
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Even Couch Potatoes Read and The TV Is My Horcrux
My Favorite Commercials: The Subtle Artistry of the Applebee's Song Parody

I hope you feel enticed to come back.

I Won't Hate On It

2005-07-22T20:19:00.000-05:00

Hey, UPN. I hear you have this great new sitcom called Everybody Hates Chris. The word-of-mouth on it is good. If you'd like, you can send me a copy of the pilot to preview and I'll write a Postcard about it.

I'm sure my reader, er, readers would love the scoop.

Paula Marshall's Rack . . .

2005-07-20T12:02:00.000-05:00

Plays a starring role in Michael Ausiello's first entry from the Press Tour Diaries. Check it out: Details from CBS's day at the Television Critics Association press tour, including an escapee from Madame Tussaud's (let's just say that I doubt Mr. Ausiello will be getting any exclusive scoop from Kimberley Elise's next movie); Alyson Hannigan's hair extensions; Tyra Banks's big faux pas; and a sip-by-sip of Ausiello's Snapple addiction.

At Least It Wasn't CSI . . .

2005-07-20T11:45:00.000-05:00

NBC cancelled Medical Investigation. I'm glad. I don't want to be "entertained" by good-looking doctors trying to discover why people are deathly ill or dying.

Recent personal experience taught me that it's not entertaining at all. Wasteland Fan's partner was rushed to the ER this weekend, initially complaining of a headache and blurred vision and, eventually, acting incoherent, being unable to move, and giving me a mighty scare. Frankly, I thought death, or at least severe disability, from a stroke would be the likely result.

After several hours of testing, prodding, and poking -- the doctor kept telling me, "I have no idea; I'm perplexed" -- a spinal tap revealed that the culprit was viral encephalitis. Recovery is coming along nicely, but I don't think I'll ever again view a medical procedural with the same detached sense of escapist entertainment.

The Best Show I'm Not Watching Is . . .

2005-07-17T16:35:00.000-05:00

The 4400. I missed the two-hour premier back in June and ever since, I've been unable to catch up. I guess I'll watch it on DVD when it's released. In the meantime, every Sunday I'm bummed that I'm not watching it.

What about you? What show aren't you watching that you really wish you were or that you've heard so many good things about that you're sad or ashamed you've never given it a chance? Leave your vote in the comment section.

Next up: Locusts and A Blood Red Moon

2005-07-17T02:29:00.000-05:00

Following up on yesterday's post:

This show must be the third or so sign of the apolcalypse: a reality show about a bunch of "celebrity" "strangers" living together as well as "documenting" their efforts to make a horror movie. The "celebrities"? Former reality TV "stars"!!

It's psuedocelebreality.

The celebreality monster has come full circle. I can only hope it will commence biting itself in the ass.

Kill Reality? Whatever. Put me out of my misery.

Celebrealitrash

2005-07-16T18:48:00.000-05:00

What's with the "celebreality" phenomenon? Do we really need to suffer along with group of D list celebrities trying to lose a few extra pounds (or a few dozen extra pounds) or watch a hodge-podge of has-beens skinny dipping, drinking, yelling at each other, sleeping together, and working to complete totally bogus "assignments" in their psychedelically appointed surreal "home"? Or, for that matter, who needs a series of poorly edited home videos to prove that Britney Spears is as skanky as we suspected and that her man-ho husband is as vacuous and as in dire need of a bath as he appears in the tabloids? Even Venus and Serena have decided to jump on the bandwagon (rev up those TiVos now, folks). For real!

Granted, in amongst Gastineau Girls, Surreal Life, the Anna Nicole Show, and Celebrity Fit Club, you can stumble on a few passingly interesting and entertaining shows. The Osbournes first season, for instance, was not the high watermark of cable television, but it was fun. The Simple Life, finding Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie living on a rural Arkansas farm, and its subsequent seasons of road tripping and interning were mildly amusing. (And who doesn't realize that Nicole is the true driver of that Winnebago? She's funny. Paris is wooden. Nicole is brazen and, sometimes, even witty. Paris is pouty and comes off genuinely stupid. Apparently, Paris doesn't get this, though. She seems to think she's the star of the show and it can go on without Nicole, who "knows what she did" to Paris to warrant being dumped from the show -- reportedly Nicole showed Paris's famed sex tape to friends at a party. The latest reports now indicate that Paris and Nicole may have patched things up enough to ride the Simple Life express one more time. "Whew," says Wasteland Fan, with tongue firmly in cheek.)

Despite these and a couple of other examples of not wholly wretch-inducing celebreality, one recent entrant has to be reason enough to ban all variants of the genre from this point forward. Being Bobby Brown introduces us to the day-to-day lives of Bobby, Whitney, Bobbi Kristina, and a gaggle of other hangers on, children from "previous relationships," and Bobby's flatulent father "Pops." Really, who hasn't found herself lounging on the couch on a hot summer evening and thinking, "God, I wonder what it's like to be Bobby Brown?"

You haven't?

Really?

Come to think of it, neither have I, nor has anyone I know. In fact, I had been perfectly content to wipe my mind clean of Mr. Tenderoni, sparing a short blurb or two on an entertainment website reporting that he's taking another trip to the pokey. I don't know who convinced Bobby Brown that documenting his day-to-day life was a net positive undertaking for society, but there's a special ring in hell for them. Ah, but it's his prerogative, no doubt.

To make matters worse, we have to suffer through watching Whitney Houston alternately swearing at, bitch slapping, and fawning over Bobby, frequently as poor Bobbi Kristina looks on. Before this, a fan of her (early) music could separate appreciation of it from the reports of Whitney's erratic behavior and trips to rehab. Now it's all just one big mess and the magic of denial just won't cut through the images that Bravo TV has so unnecessarily seared on my brain.

To quote Aunt Sassy, "Note to self: I don't need to see that!"

(By the way, despite what some critics say, I love the whole send up of the celebreality phenomenon that is HBO's The Comeback.)

Michael Ausiello, Your Ass Must Be Chapped

2005-07-14T21:08:00.000-05:00

I want to put a plug in for my favorite weekly TV column, Ask Ausiello, written by TV Guide reporter Michael Ausiello. Well . . . it deals with TV some of the time. Then, sometimes, it's about acronym contests, smurfs, diet raspberry snapple iced tea, alternating obsessions with Mariska Hargitay and Keri Russel, and Mr. Ausiello's cuteness and coolness factors.

Nonetheless, it's witty, fun, and well worth your reading every Wednesday.

(NOTE: Of course, the timing of this post is a bit unfortunate, because Ask Ausiello is going on hiatus for two weeks while Mr. Ausiello covers the annual television press tour. But, never fear, in the absence of AA for two weeks, check out Ausiello's Press Tour Diaries on TV Guide Online over the next couple of weeks. If they're anything like last year's, it'll be well worth your read. Hilarious.)

Nomination Abomination

2005-07-14T20:21:00.000-05:00

The Emmy nominations were announced today. (For the official press releast from the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences click here.) I swear, I will never understand the voters' continuing love affair with "Will & Grace." It's well past its prime. W&G relies on stunt guest stars ad nauseum. The characters increasingly have become caricatures of themselves.

Contrast this with the brilliant, and perenially ignored, "Gilmore Girls." Is there smarter, more engaging dialogue, story, and acting on TV? If so, I haven't seen it. Yet, Lauren Graham walks away empty-handed again this year. I understand that GG is on The WB and that it's not a traditional comedy, but have the voters just not bothered to watch? Emmy voters, you are called out on this one: it's a travesty.

Now, I understand there's a bit of a disconnect here in my rant, because W&G's Debra Messing wasn't nominated either, so it's not like the lamentably over-nominated W&G kept Ms. Graham from claiming a spot among the elect. That distinction belongs to . . .

The other nomination champion: Desperate Housewives. Three of the housewives (Terri Hatcher, Macia Cross, and Felicity Huffman) scored noms in the Lead Actress in a Comedy Series category. Now, I loves me my housewives, so I'm not about to bitch about this. In fact, I was saddened that the voters dissed Nicolette Sheridan in the supporting category and I'm not at all sure that Eva Longoria didn't deserve to be included among the nominees as much as, if not more than, her co-stars.

The upshot is, I understand it was a tough year for everyone to break into the leading actress category for the comedies; nevertheless, the complete absence of a single nomination for GG is an abomination.

Enabling an Addiction

2005-07-14T18:26:00.000-05:00

I like television. A lot. In fact, I probably display signs of addiction. So, I decided to find another hobby to enable that addiction. This blog will do the trick.

I'll post here about TV that I like, TV that I hate, TV news, and all things TV. (One caveat: I probably won't do any serious posting about TV technology. I'm basically a Luddite and the technology bores me.)

I hope you'll enjoy my Postcards from the Vast Wasteland.